Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Thoughts on meditation...completely redundant?

In the process of packing, readjusting, moving, bubble wrapping, needing a mood stabilizer, doing laundry, transferring to storage, strategic job maneuvers, and all around nuttiness I've neglected to give myself anytime to recuperate. Even my mother can tell that I'm pretty much a wreck while I blatantly ignore my deterioration. In a turn of rather serendipitous events, I ran into some of the girls I used to dance with when I was in my teens. They are still teaching at the ballet school where I spent 15 years sweating and twirling and it struck me. The feeling, well more of a need, to find that place of serenity and quiet that I used to find so easily to the tune of Bach during a dance class. Your body is so focused on whatever its doing that it gives your mind an opportunity to just shut the hell up.

So I went for a run. And it was one hell of a run. Granted it's infinitely easier to run at sea level as opposed to the 5,000 foot elevation I had become accustomed, but the hour long run that I took gave me a chance to just let my mind drift and wander as it would. I didn't exactly solve world hunger but things seemed to get a little clearer. The insecurities of moving home, the relationship between Chris and myself, my current unemployment, even the grand picture of my life (and I am a cynical person) just kind of lined up and filed itself away to be dealt with another time. Now if I can reach that kind of secretarial nirvana with my mind on a fairly weekly basis, I think I will probably be a healthier, saner person.

I think from here on out I need to make it a priority to get out of house, and out of my head, if only for an hour. As hippie and new age as it sounds, it felt absolutely amazing to run till I couldn't move my legs and give my constant internal monologue a break.

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